So it was a very positive and uplifting experience, and I have several of my readers here in part to thank for it. The advice, support and encouragement you gave me in comments helped bring me to a point where I was able to make this big step. Without you, I’d probably still be hiding myself away instead of sharing myself (at least briefly and in small doses) with the world. Thank you all!!
Every time I shave them now I feel tension leave. I feel peace. I feel my inner girl stretch her wings–just a little, but it’s enough for now.
For just a moment, I want you to call to mind the person you love most in the world–besides yourself, if you can
Last Sunday she came down for a visit, and we talked for half an hour after everyone else had gone to bed. She had previously told me she might have named me “Catherine” had I been born a girl. That night she said she had thought of another name she might have given me–her middle name, Elaine. I think “Catherine Elaine” sounds wonderful, don’t you? ?? She does too.
Here is what he posted to me. Again, what he says is offensive to many, so please read no further if you are easily upset.
Picture their face, feel the warmth of their smile as they caress your cheek. Now imagine them telling you you’re worthless, that they wish they’d never met you, that they want you to have never been born. In short, picture them ripping your heart apart with their words.
They head of our group is very outgoing and very welcoming. Every week she’s talking to someone new. Every week she’s making new friends. Every week she’s showing people that we are normal, outgoing, friendly people, and not the freaks or monsters they might have thought.
Wow oh wow again. She suggests flats, because there are no pumps they had that I liked, but I wasn’t sure and I didn’t dare try any on in front of her or the other women in the store, and besides, we’d only save $3 on the flats, so she asked if I liked any of the boots.
Long story short (too late, I know!), I got the same boots she did, only black instead of brown. They’re ankle-high, maybe 2 1/2? or 3? heel, and cute as nobody’s business. I don’t know if they’ll go with anything I currently have, but I’ll put something together around them at some point.
We have life, we have acceptance, we have love, we have support
I am floating! I cannot believe she did that for me! She says it’s not going to become a habit so don’t expect it again, but I’m just grateful for this one show of acceptance and support. It’s a point I never thought she’d ever reach. I know sometimes as we talk about my crossdressing she feels like I am pushing her to accept things she’s not ready to, but I’ve really been trying not to. We do talk occasionally, but mostly I just let her drive the conversation. And every once in a while she shows me that she is processing it all.
Quick five minute drive to the hotel where SISTERS meets–which was packed. I had to park in the back and walk around to the front…in heels and a skirt! Fortunately there was nobody around, though I was pretty calm about it anyway, which surprised me–and several others as well. I got comments from several SISTERS on my distinct lack of nerves last night.
My semi-ex was still awake when I got home. Didn’t like seeing my flattened hair (from my wig), but didn’t make a big deal of it. Asked to make sure I had removed all traces of makeup etc. so the kids wouldn’t see it in the morning, said she was glad I had a good time, and I went to bed. This morning she double-checked my eyes, had me go wash the last traces of eyeliner off, and again said she was glad I had a good time. The eyeliner thing is a big step for her, because she was calm about it this time. Treated it more as a fact than a problem. That’s a big step forward for her.